Sooo bleh.

( Easily ignored life rambles up ahead )

Sorry, I'm raging and typing it down makes me feel better.

You know, I liked Michael Jackson, his image deterioration aside, and I had respect for Farrah Fawcet. So I wasn't entirely impacted by their deaths as others, but people like my mother were. And regardless of who they were they were still two people that died and should be given the respect like any other human being on this planet.

That's why it pisses me off seeing them as the punchline to every goddamn joke not a day after their death. I understand light humor to try and lighten the situation, but such cruel and demeaning jokes are absolutely pathetic, and the people spewing them should be ashamed of themselves.

How would you feel if your loved one just died and all people did was crack funnies about it?

It's lame. Incredibly lame.

I'm not saying that every death has to be approached in a somber and totally morbid type of mourning.



Just have some goddamn class.

Guess I haven't really updated this much lately. Things are still slowly getting better. Been spending whatever time I can going over to friends' houses and distracting myself the best I can. Slowly getting back into drawing, though as far as my writing and actual creativity goes it's still been seriously lacking.

I think since this whole thing began over a month ago (can't believe it's been so long already) I've been trying to punish myself. Why, I can't really explain, but depression is something I've had to battle with for a while. Lost interest in hobbies and interests, either slept too long or not at all. The nightmares have thankfully laid off and I've been free of those for about two weeks, now. Luckily during this I've found new ways to distract myself (most craft-related, something to keep my hands occupied), and from what I can tell the family is closer and a lot more affectionate. 

So, slowly but surely. I'm not trying to pull out my hair and claw myself silly anymore, and I'm dwelling on the bad a lot less. Provided this continues we should be all right. Still having trouble getting to fall asleep, though. 

I have all of my friends in my prayers every night hoping that you'll never have to go through something like this, and if you did to have the strength to be happy again. It's difficult and gives you such a bleak outlook on life, but eventually you remember to smile and laugh again because it's quite impossible to be so sad forever. It's never the end of the world, no matter how bad a situation might be. No one ever give up on that.

: )

Kinda late but


CONGRATULATIONS, CLASS OF '09!


I hope you all follow your passion and realize that you need to absolutely live life to the fullest. And I'll be seeing a few of you the fall semester at UNLV!

Lovelovelove.

http://www.lvrj.com/news/47065487.html


A big collective sigh of relief.


Let's hope our life can get back to normal now and I can get out of this damn depression.

So I've just been informed that on top of this shit I have to deal with, my aunts seem to be splitting up and  Anne wants my aunt Donna out of the house by the 1st. And here I was convinced that they were one of the strongest and most in-love couples I have ever met.

Well obviously that was wrong.

Oh life, you just don't want anyone happy, do you.

I'm really hoping they sort this out and it's just the stress. The babies are coming in less than a month. Mom didn't want to tell me because she knows my mind hasn't exactly been in the... right place, lately. That and how much I love and respect those two. The sentiment is appreciated, but a blow of reality stings all the more when you realize how long people have been keeping you oblivious about it.

So I thank God for friends and parents who are managing to keep my sanity in tact. Because for a while I was convinced that I /was/ majorly losing my marbles.

Had a nice dream about getting a cool job and unfortunately it ended up taking a turn for the worse. I'm starting to think I'm just going to be psychologically screwed up with men for the rest of my life. Sigh.

In other news, things have been quiet for a few days-- none of us are complaining. My mom spent the weekend in Arkansas, and after Cazel came over I spent most of the weekend sewing a doll and watching movies with Calvin. Tonight was a neighborhood party that everyone put together for us, to show their support and help out a bit with our financial issues. So I had a nice time and I'm sure everyone feels a little less alone.

As far as I know we're only going to the ceremony part of the wedding, which I'm incredibly bummed about. I would just go by myself but... that'd be me, by myself, at a wedding, which is kind of lame. I'm really hoping the parents change their mind; it wouldn't kill us to have a little fun after all the shit we've gone through.

In the waiting unfortunately my wanderlust and need for excitement has returned. Alas, I'm not going to be swept off my feet into adventure any time soon.

Feet feel like they're in quicksand.

Officer Manor was driving at 109 mph, no lights or sirens. He also did not have his seatbelt on. The public is showing us wonderful support now and we can only hope this is a very good turn in the situation. Things are looking up, though my heart still goes out to that man and his family.

But now it's time to get /my/ family back, too.

IDK.